如是說999

2018-05-05

“And when you are in what you call the early stages of a relationship with another, there is that getting to know you period when you are in discovery of each other and what each of you brings to the party. Once you have settled in, you tend to think you know the other person, backwards and forwards. You know what makes them tick. You know how to push their buttons.

“当你们处于你们所谓的与另一个人关系的早期阶段时，就会有一段时间去了解你们，那时你们正在发现彼此，你们每个人都给聚会带来了什么。”一旦你安顿下来，你就会觉得自己了解对方，前后相向。你知道是什么让他们动起来的。你知道怎么按他们的按钮。

And so you get into the period of expectation, where now you think the other one simply runs on autopilot and will always be the way they were when you discovered everything that you think you know about them. And this gives you all a sense of stability. You like to know what to expect. You like to plan around certain things because many of you like to avoid sticky situations, uncomfortable emotions, and so on.

所以你进入了期望期，现在你认为另一个只是运行在自动驾驶仪上，当你发现你认为你知道的所有关于它们的东西的时候，它们将一直是这样。这给了大家一种稳定的感觉。你想知道期待什么。你喜欢围绕某些事情进行计划，因为你们中的许多人喜欢避免棘手的情况、不舒服的情绪等等。

But when you give your partner the freedom to surprise you, to be who it is they are completely in every moment and to demonstrate to you their ability to expand and to turn off their autopilot, that is when you really have something. That is when you are able to discover even more.

但是当你给你的伴侣一个让你惊讶的自由，让他们在每一刻都是完全的自己，并向你展示他们扩展和关闭自动驾驶仪的能力时，那就是你真正拥有的东西。那时你就能发现更多。

And when you are willing and able to let go of preconceived notions about the one you think you know so well, that is when you can begin to let go of your own self-imposed limitations and surprise even yourself. We recommend that you let go and let yourself and your partner discover just how unpredictable you can be.”

当你愿意并且能够放弃那些你认为自己非常了解的人的先入之见时，那就是你可以开始放弃你自己强加的限制，甚至让你自己感到惊讶的时候。我们建议你放手，让你自己和你的伴侣发现你是多么不可预测。

 翻译：sdbetty