Question: When I do my meditation, everything is peaceful and quiet and I feel like I am getting somewhere. But the real test comes when there is adversity and I forget everything and again go back to the same old way of dealing with things. I feel that my practices have started making a mark but when something happens, I go back to the same old ways.
Sadhguru: You already repeated this twice, “I go back.” What does going back mean? It means that an agitated way of existence is your original nature, isn’t it? Is that your original nature?
Sadhguru: Then why do you want to lose it?
Question: No. By “original”, I mean that is the way we have been dealing with it all our lives.
Sadhguru: If we are so identified with that agitated way, how can we lose it? If you were to say, “I was very peaceful during the practice but when adversity happens, I am going away,” that would be better, isn’t it? Not just better, it is most essential to see, “I am going away from my original nature.” Then you will naturally want to come back to who you are. But you are clearly telling yourself, “My original nature is agitation, my fancy yoga nature is peacefulness. So, naturally I go back to my original nature.” Isn’t it natural to go back home.
You must change this within yourself. Right now, the way you think is the way you become. The whole mess of your mind can be changed just by the way you think. When you say, “My original nature is agitation,” it is trying to establish itself. If you see “My original nature is peace but I have lost it,” then you will naturally want to go back to your original nature.
Your Original Nature
Which is your original nature? This is not my teaching. You tell me, what is your original nature? Or if you do not know what this “original nature” stuff is, at least tell me, when you were a child, were you agitated or were you peaceful and joyful? If we can’t go back to what is really our original, essential nature, shall we at least go back to square one? Shall we start the game from there? At least become how you were when you were five years of age. That much peace and joy must be there.
That’s not a great amount. A lot of people talk as if becoming a child is the highest thing in the world. No. It took so much effort to become an adult. Becoming a child is not the highest thing. For those who have completely distorted and destroyed themselves, we say at least go back to square one. Start there at least. Don’t fall off the board.
So, don’t keep telling yourself that whatever you experienced during meditation is one fanciful moment that you somehow achieved. It is not an achievement. That is the way you are every moment of your life if you don’t mess yourself. Is that the reality? Is your messed up situation your original nature or is your original nature simply the way you are when nothing is messing you? Which is at least closer to your original nature? Un-messed, isn’t it?
Look back and see what is the most peaceful and joyful moment you have known in your life. Let’s start from there. Let us see that as your original nature right now. It is not, but at least let us mentally assume that, “That is the way I am, but for some reason, I have gotten lost.” Once you see that you are lost, everything in you will want to find a way back.
The Right Input
Please understand how your mind functions. If you say something to it in a certain way, if you put a wrong input, the whole energy of the mind starts functioning in that particular way. There are so many people on the planet whose lives have been absolutely poisoned simply because of a wrong thought that they identified themselves with. I would say almost the whole world is in this condition. They identified themselves with a particular type of thinking; these identifications generally happen when they are very young and certain things are dominant, and now you can’t think beyond it.
Suppose I were to take away all the male and female hormones from your body. I am not talking about the physiological aspect, but in your attitude and the way you look at your life, do you know how you would become in three days’ time? You would definitely become like a completely carefree child. You will not constantly be aware of your body parts. You would sit, walk and exist in a completely different way.
This is how just a little bit of chemical change that happened in the physiology to serve a particular purpose of nature has distorted your whole perception of life. This is not the only thing. There are a million other things like this. Whatever you identify with, that completely distorts your perception of life. The whole of Inner Engineering is to set the mind in the right perspective so that your limited identifications are taken away mentally, and your energy is unchained from its present bondages.
This bondage will not be completely released just because of this, but the first step towards that has been taken if you unchain yourself from those little identifications that you have taken on. There is a whole lot of karmic structure that will take its time, but if you do not set this process going, you will keep building that, not wearing it out. If you take away your strong identifications with limited things around you, then you have set up the basic process of dissolution of karmic structure.