笑笑  巴夏Bashar

 2020-04-22

 

 

https://v.qq.com/x/page/y095559e5xj.html

 

问:

The thing that I am asking is about my son

我想咨询一些关于我儿子的事

 

He is back in my house and he stay all night with the heater and he doesn't really drink enough water.

他整天窝在房里,晚上一直开着暖气,水喝得也不够多

 

And I feel have a way for me to

我觉得,我该想个办法,让他……

 

巴夏:

What are you asking?

你想问什么呢?

 

Should you tie him down and force feeding him?

你要把他绑起来,强行喂水吗?

 

问:

No!

不!

 

巴夏:

Have you had conversations about why, and does he actually feel like he's not getting enough?

你们有交流过他为什么这样吗?以及,他是否真的感觉没有喝足够多的水呢?

 

问:

He would listen to others but not to his parents, I guess.

我觉得,他会听别人的话,但不会听父母的话

 

巴夏:

Have you had a conversation about why he doesn't listen to your advice?

你们有讨论过他为什么不会听你们的建议吗?

 

问:

Usually kids don't listen to their parents.

通常情况下,孩子是不会听父母的

 

巴夏:

That's not the case on my planet.

在我的星球上,可不是这样

 

问:

I know! But here, it's a little different.

这我知道!但这是地球,有点不同

 

巴夏:

Well, I understand that

我理解!

 

But do you also understand he may have his own path in life?

但你知道吗,他可能也有他自己的人生道路呢?!

 

问:

I totally agree with you. The thing is that, like you said...

我完全同意!就像你说的……

 

巴夏:

I have a suggestion for you.

我有个建议!

 

问:

OK! Thank you.

好的!谢谢!

 

巴夏:

Let's call it the Santa Claus effect.

我们就称之为:“圣诞老人效应”吧!

 

Leave a pitcher of water and the glass out for him when you go to bed.

在你睡觉前,给他备好一壶水和一个杯子

 

Maybe in the night, he will sneak over and have some water without you necessarily knowing about it

也许三更半夜,在你毫无察觉之际,他偷偷溜出来,喝了点水

 

问:

OK! Thank you!

好的!谢谢!

 

巴夏:

Just give him the option. Don't tell him what to do.

你只需要给他提供“一个选择”,而不要求他该怎么做

 

问:

You are absolutely right. I do that.

你说得非常对!我也这么做了

 

巴夏:

But you leave water out.

你给他准备水了吗?

 

问:

Yes. I do put the water.

是的,我给他备了水

 

巴夏:

When you're not around?

然后,你走开了吗?

 

问:

When I'm not around?

我走开吗?

 

巴夏:

Yes!

是的!

 

When you go to bed, leave water out. So that you're not around.

在你睡觉前,把水准备好,然后,你走开

 

So that he can have it when you're not around.

这样的话,你不在一旁的时候,他就可以喝水了

 

问:

OK!

好的!

 

And for the heater, there is whole night long and there is no air in his room, no window is open.

关于暖气,他一开,就是一整个晚上,而且房门紧锁,窗户不开,空气不流通

 

巴夏:

Is he cold?

他冷吗?

 

问:

He always says he's cold.

他总说冷

 

But there's no air at all for all night.

但整个晚上,他房间里一点空气都没有

 

巴夏:

There must be some or he would suffocate.

肯定有点空气,要不然他要窒息了

 

Remember, that's the first basic need.

请记住:空气,是人类存活的第一个基本需求

 

Without air, you would probably be dead in about two minutes.

如果没有空气,你很可能在两分钟之内就会死去

 

问:

Yeah! But I can see that his eye is swollen, I can see he is very fatigue.

那倒是!但我看见他眼睛浮肿,身体非常疲惫

 

巴夏:

Well, have you had a conversation about the fact as to whether or not he enjoys that feeling?

你有没有和他探讨过,他是否喜欢这种感觉呢?

 

问:

I do. But as I said that he doesn't listen to his parents.

我们谈过,但是,就像我之前说的,他不听父母的话

 

巴夏:

I didn't say that you had to say something he had to listen to.

我并没有说,你要说一些他必须得听的话

 

I said have you had a conversation about whether or not he enjoys that affect.

我是说,你有没有和他讨论过,他是否喜欢(这些行为)带给自己的影响

 

If he's enjoying that?

他喜欢这样吗?

 

Yes! Ask him.

是的!你去问他!

 

Look!

你看看自己

 

Your eyes are kind of puffy and swollen, and so on and so forth.

你的眼睛有点浮肿,等等……

 

And you seem very tired.

你看起来非常疲倦

 

Do you enjoy that feeling?

你很喜欢这种感觉吗?

 

I'm just curious.

我只是好奇

 

问:

OK! I will ask him that for sure.

好的!我铁定会问他

 

巴夏:

Then it's not about him listening to you.

然后,问题就不是他是否会听你的话了

 

It's about you paying attention and giving him options to respond in the way that he prefers to respond.

而是你,注意观察,为他提供选择,让他能够以他喜欢的方式,对你做出回应

 

Yes?

明白了吗?

 

问:

Yes!

明白!

 

巴夏:

And again, he doesn't have to answer.

还有,他不一定要回答你

 

Just pose the question.

你只需“摆”出问题即可

 

He'll go through it in his mind

他自己会琢磨琢磨

 

And maybe he'll decide that he needs to make different choices to have different consequences.

也许,他会决定:他需要做出不同的选择,才能产生不同的结果

 

But you're being the one that's imaginative enough to simply get the ball rolling in his own mind without making him think he has to listen to you.

但是,你需要有足够丰富的想象力,引导他转动自己的思维,同时,让他意识不到:他必须听你的

 

Do you understand?

你明白了吗?

 

问:

Yes!

明白!

 

巴夏:

You need to be a little bit more imaginative, and we don't mean this in a negative way, a little bit more sneaky.

你还需要多一点想象力,并且,更狡猾一点(此处,并无负面意义)

 

So that you can inspire them to think about things without him feeling that he is being told what to do.

这样的话,你就可以激励他去思考一些事情,同时,让他感受不到,是你要求(告诉)他去做这些事的

 

Do you understand?

你明白了吧?

 

问:

Thank you!

谢谢!

 

巴夏:

You just have to exercise your curiosity

你需要好好锻炼一下你的“好奇心”

 

Because again,

因为,我再说一遍

 

if that really is his path, if that's something he believes he needs to do,

如果这真的是他的道路,如果这真的是他认为自己该做的事

 

Then the only thing coming from you and your unconditional love and support is

那么,你唯一能给予他的无条件的爱与支持,就是:

 

Well, I'm curious.

我很好奇

 

Do you find that sensation interesting or enjoyable, or...

你觉得这种感觉,很有趣,或很享受吗,还是其他呢?

 

Let me know.

可以的话,请告诉我

 

I'm kind of curious.

我有点好奇

 

And then, walk away.

然后,走开!

 

You don't even have to finish the conversation.

你甚至都不用把话说完

 

问:

Thank you very very much, Bashar!

非常非常感谢您,巴夏!

 

巴夏:

You're very very welcome.

非常非常不客气!

 

问:

Does anything else do you see from what I do for self, doing work...

你觉得还是有什么事情,是我在工作、生活中,能够……?

 

巴夏:

Are you acting on your passions to the best you can with no insistence or assumption on the outcome and remaining in a positive state no matter what manifests?

你是否在你的激情上,尽你所能地去行动;对结果,毫无执着,也不带预期;并且,不论显化出来的是什么,你始终保持在积极正面的状态呢?

 

问:

Yes!

是的!

 

巴夏:

Don't lie!

别撒谎哦!

 

问:

I didn't hear the whole question but I understand.

我没把问题听完,但我明白你的意思

 

巴夏:

All right.

好!

 

Then that's just my curious question.

那么,这就是我对你感到好奇的问题

 

So you can go think about it.

你可以回去好好想一想

 

问:

I will

我会的!

 

巴夏:

Thank you!

谢谢!

 

问:

Thank you very very much, Bashar!

非常非常感谢您,巴夏!

 

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