笑笑 巴夏Bashar
2020-04-16
https://v.qq.com/x/page/s09518y9a6m.html
问：
It seems to me that most of my friends and me included have the least patience with our mothers.
似乎，我的大部分朋友，也包括我，对于我们的母亲，都是最没有耐心的，并且……
巴夏：
Well, what part of yourself that is represented by the mother are you impatient with?
对于你来说，你母亲象征着哪一部分的你呢？并且，你对这部分的自己没有耐心呢？
Do you understand it's a reflection, yes?
你知道，你母亲只是你（部分意识）的一个影射，是吧？
问：
Yes! Yes! I know chose my mom.
是的！是的！我知道选择了我妈妈
巴夏：
Well, I don't just mean that !
我说的，不仅仅是这个意思
I saying there is a reflection in you of a part of yourself that you're equating to her vibration that you are impatient with
你对一部分的自己，没有耐心，你将这一部分的你等同于你母亲的频率，并投射到她身上
You're impatient with an aspect of yourself.
你是对于自己的某一个面向，没有耐心
The only reason you would be impatient with someone else is that you're impatient with the aspect of yourself that the someone else symbolizes to you that you're afraid you contain.
你会对某人不耐烦的唯一原因，就是：你对自己的某一面向不耐烦，害怕自己包含这样的一部分，而对方却只是这一部分的象征性人物
Do you understand?
你能明白吗？
问：
So every time I see her, and she is in a bad mood, which happens a lot,
每次我见她，她都没好心情，而这种情况又常常发生
and I don't have patience with her.
于是，我也就没啥耐心了
巴夏：
Why do you need patience? That's what I'm saying.
你为什么需要耐心呢？这才是我的意思
If you understand that her mood has nothing to do with you and you stop taking it personally.
如果你知道，她的心情，跟你一点关系都没有，并且，你也不再因为她的心情，而影响自己的心情
You don't need patience.
那么，你就不需要耐心
Because it has nothing to do with you.
因为，这真的跟你一点关系都没有
You'll just look at her doing whatever she does, have compassion to realize that she may be caught up in your own fears,
你只需要带着同情心，看着她做她自己的事，并且意识到：她可能陷入了她自己的恐惧中
But you can also simultaneously have compassion for yourself and realize that her process and her issues and her belief systems and the things that she's caught up have nothing to do with you
同时，你也可以同情一下自己，告诉自己：她经历的过程，她遇到的问题，她的信念系统，以及她身陷的事情，跟你一点关系都没有
And therefor you don't need patience
因此，你也就不需要有耐心
And therefore, if you don't need patience, you will never become impatient
而如果你不需要耐心，那么，你就永远不会变得“不耐烦”
You will enjoy the moment for what it is, see it for what it is, experience it in the way that you prefer to regardless of how she may be experiencing it.
你将会享受此时此刻，欣赏此情此景，以你喜好的方式，体验当下的境况，而不论她是如何经历这一切的
And because you're experiencing it in a curious and magical and exciting and interesting way,
当你带着好奇、激动的心，以有趣、神奇的方式，体验着当下这一切
What would you need patience for?
那么，你还需要耐心干啥嘞？
You're having fun even if she's having a miserable time
你可以乐不思蜀，即使她苦不堪言
So don't take it personally,
不要把她的坏心情“照单全收”
Don't agree that you are like her in that way
不要认为你和她是同一个样
Do you understand?
你明白了吗？
问：
Yes!
明白了！
巴夏：
Because that's what you're getting angry about
因为，这就是你生气的原因
You have a belief that you're like her in that way,
你有一个信念，认为：你在这一方面，像她一样
You don't have to believe that
但是，你没必要这么认为
She may have taught to think that way, but you don’t have to believe it.
她可能教过你这么想事情，但你没必要相信她那一套
Correct?
对吧？
问：
Yes!
对！
巴夏：
So, don't agree with it.
所以，不要认同她的那一套
It's the same idea, the same analogy,
同样的道理，我做个比喻
as someone walking up to you on the street when you're wearing a blue outfit and say: I really hate your red outfit
当你穿着一身蓝色的衣服，走在路上，这时候有个人走过来，跟你说：“你这一袭红衣，我真的很讨厌！”
You would look at them like they're crazy, and goes: what does that go with me. I'm not wearing red?
你会看着对方，想她是不是有毛病，并且，回答道：“这跟我有什么关系，我又没穿红色衣服？！”
It's the same thing.
二者是同一回事
It has nothing to do with you
这跟你一点关系都没有
Stop making it have something to do with you
不要再把跟你没关系的事情，扯上关系了
Because you're the one doing that
因为，这么做的人，是你
She can't do it to you
这事，她做不了
You're doing it to yourself
你只能“自作自受”
And that what the impatience comes in
于是，你就开始“心烦意扰”了
Because you realize you're doing something to yourself that you don't prefer to do
因为，你意识到：你在对自己做一件你不希望对自己做的事
So you get angry and resentful at her as a projection of the anger and resentment you have toward yourself for doing something to yourself that you don't prefer to do.
于是，你对自己产生了愤怒与怨恨，而后把这一切投射到你母亲身上，所以，你才会怒火中烧，对她心生怨恨
So take responsibility for your part of it, and don't take her side of it personally
所以，承担起你自己那一部分的责任，并且，不再把她那一方的责任揽到自己身上
And then you will balance out
然后，你就能（身心）平衡了
And it won't matter what she does
她再做什么，对你都没影响了（都无关紧要）
because it has nothing to do with you
因为，这跟你一点关系都没有
And then you can have the compassion to perhaps reflect to her that she can choose to change by seeing an example in you of your change
而后，你也还可以带着爱心（慈悲、同情心），以自我改变为例，向她“映射”出她也可以选择做出改变
But you have to allow her not to change. It has to be an unconditional love
但你也必须允许她“不做改变”，你需要给予她无条件的爱
But you start by unconditionally loving yourself enough, to not adopt and accept things you know have nothing to do with you
但在此之前，你需要先给予自己足够多的无条件的爱，不再接受和采纳那些你知道跟你毫无关系的事物
Do you understand?
你明白了吗？
问：
Yes!
明白！
巴夏：
Does this help you?
这对你有帮助吗？
问：
Yes! Thank you!
是的！谢谢你！
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