2018-05-09

 

 

Beloved, let Me advise you. This is what I hear from the wheels spinning around in your head: You don’t find comfort in the fact that, one way or another, it is you yourself who leads yourself astray. It is you who creates the stumbling-blocks that you find before you. It’s no fun for you to discover all that which you have thought exists in front of you really exists inside you, and that you fall for ignorance again and again, and that you, alas, are your own willing dupe, that there is no else, that you are the whole shebang – no matter how you may fight off this idea that you are responsible for your life. Whether you see true friend or false enemy, it is you that you see before you. This is hard to believe. There is more to this than you can accept.

亲爱的,让我告诉你。这就是我听到的车轮在你脑海中旋转的声音:你无法找到这样的事实:不管怎样,是你自己误导了你自己。是你创造了你面前的绊脚石。对你来说,发现你面前存在的所有的东西真的存在于你的内心,你一次又一次地陷入无知,这是没有意思的,而你,唉,是你自己愿意的欺骗,没有别的,你就是全部的影子——不管你如何战斗。这个想法是你对你的生活负责。无论你看到真正的朋友还是虚假的敌人,你看到的都是你。这很难相信。这比你能接受的更多。

 

You say to yourself:

你对自己说:

 

How can it be that I see unhappy scenes before me and seeming betrayals? I have been certain I am the good guy. How can it be otherwise? However, one way or another, I understand that when there is a travesty before me, I set it up. I trip myself up. Why would I?

“我怎么会看到眼前的不开心场面,似乎背叛?我确信我是个好人。不然怎么会这样呢?然而,不管怎样,我知道当我面前有一种嘲弄的时候,我就把它成立。我把自己绊倒了。为什么我会这样?

 

"God, You really mean that I set up the hidden camera, and I trip over wires I set around myself to trip on? How bizarre can life get, you mean really? It can’t be that I would dispatch myself where I would not want anyone to go, least of all myself. How can it be that I make my own wrong turns?

“老天,你真的是说我把隐形相机设置好了,我绕着我自己绕着线旅行?你的意思是,生活到底有多奇怪?我不可能把自己安排在我不想让任何人去的地方,尤其是我自己。怎么可能是我自己错了?

 

God, when did I play such high jinx on myself? God, when can I start over again? May I rewrite my lines and all the cast of characters and the stage sets according to my preferences? My mind seems to go blank, yet I am eager to start anew.

“天哪,我什么时候对自己开这么大的玩笑?”上帝,我什么时候能重新开始?我可以根据自己的喜好重写我的台词和所有的角色和舞台布景吗?我的头脑似乎一片空白,但我渴望重新开始。

 

What in my mind-set has to change before I can rewrite a new script? My consciousness? What does this amount to?

“在我重新编写一个新脚本之前,我必须改变什么?我的意识?这意味着什么?

I’m not seeking a Shakespearean drama nor a TV comedy, not at all. I would like to turn on a new spigot with new stories to tell, one filled with heroes and heroines of all kinds, where only beauty is and beauty is tried and true and beautiful to behold and to spread and to feel good about all the days of my life – no double dealers in my upcoming cast of thousands.

“我不是在找莎士比亚戏剧,也不是电视喜剧,一点也不。我想用一个新故事来讲述一个新的插口,一个充满各种英雄和英雄的地方,那里只有美丽和美丽被试着,真实美丽,在我生命中的所有日子里都能传播和感觉良好。NDS

 

I would love the idea that at some time in my life, if the words scoundrel or villain are ever mentioned, I would stop in my tracks and say in amazement: ‘Wha… What do these words mean? What nonsense are these words?

“我喜欢在我生命中的某个时候,如果有人提到恶棍或坏蛋,我会停下来,惊讶地说:‘哇……这些话是什么意思?”这些话是什么废话?

 

Dear God, I don’t ask to be holier than thou. Of course, I wouldn’t mind being a little holy. Truth is really what I want to know. Give me Wholeness.

“亲爱的上帝,我不要求比你更神圣。当然,我不介意有点神圣。真理是我真正想要知道的。给我完整。

 

I know that I would miss even unholy alliances. I would crave some variety in life even as I wouldn’t want too much, yet I would still desire a chance to rewrite my script at my leisure.

“我知道我会错过甚至邪恶的联盟。我渴望生活中的一些变化,尽管我不想太多,但我仍然希望有机会在空闲时重写我的剧本。

 

How do I make up my mind as to what I really want – not too many firecrackers to be set off – only a few every now and then? God, I would allow some wistful tears, but in moderation. There could be some falls, yet none with bones broken.

“我怎么才能决定我真正想要的是什么呢?”上帝,我会允许一些渴望的眼泪,但适度。可能会有一些跌倒,但是没有骨头断裂。

 

There seem to be no order forms, as I like to dream of, where I could check off whatever I wish for. Do You have such an order form up Your sleeve, dear God?

“似乎没有订单,就像我梦想的那样,在那里我可以检查我想要的任何东西。亲爱的上帝,你的袖子上有这样的订单吗?

 

Well, now, God, I’d better go about this daily life that sits before me today. Daily life certainly holds power over me, doesn’t it?”

“好吧,上帝,我最好今天就在我面前。日常生活一定会支配我,不是吗?“

 

翻译:sdbetty

 

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