译者:笑笑 ^_^ 学进

 

 

 

问:

Bashar, I'm having a very difficult personal relationship. 

巴夏,我在人际关系方面遇到非常大的困难

 

巴夏:

How exciting. 

太令人兴奋了!

 

问:

What lessons am I supposed to be learning from this? 

我该从中学到什么教训呢?

 

巴夏:

What have you learned about yourself so far? What have you learned about what you do prefer and what you don't? 

到目前为止,你对自己有没有什么新的认识?你有没有发现什么是你所真正喜欢的,什么是你所不喜欢的呢?

 

问:

I learned that I don't like unhappiness and difficulty. 

我发现我不喜欢不开心和困难

 

巴夏:

Oh, alright. Will you decide to make changes that are more in line with what you prefer? 

好的!那你是否下定决心,做一些改变,朝着你所喜欢的方向发展?

 

Will you stand up for who you know you are? 

你是否会坚持做 你所知道的你自己呢?

 

问:

Yes. 

会!

 

巴夏:

Will you allow changes to occur trusting that when you change in the direction you prefer you will always attract other individuals who will be more representative of the changes you have made within and that it won't matter whether you are dealing with the same individual or not? 

你是否允许(外在世界的)改变,并且相信:当你朝着你所喜欢的方向改变,你总会吸引一些更能代表 你内在的改变 的人,不论这样的人是你原先关系中的人,还是其他一些人?

 

问:

Yes. 

会的!

 

巴夏:

Are you sure? 

你确定吗?

 

What else have you learned by being in this relationship? 

你在这样的关系中还学到什么呢?

 

And may I also ask you, what are you defining as difficulty? 

还有,你是怎么定义困难的?

 

Take your time. 

好好想想!

 

问:

We don't see eye to eye on anything. 

我们在什么事情上都找不到共同点

 

巴夏:

Alright. So you prefer one idea, one expression. That individual prefers another idea, another expression. 

好的!就是说你喜欢一种观念、一种表现方式,而对方却喜欢另一种观念,另一种表达方式,是吧?

 

So what is difficult about this? 

那这有啥难处?

 

问:

It doesn't make for harmonious living. 

会让我们相处得不和谐。

 

巴夏:

Alright. So what's so difficult about that? 

好吧!但这有啥难呢?

 

The idea is that this individual is giving you an opportunity to decide what you prefer. 

要知道,对方是在给你机会,让你决定你到底喜欢什么。

 

If you recognize that what they prefer is not what you prefer, move on. 

如果你发现他所喜欢的,不是你所喜欢的,那你就继续前进呗!

 

What's difficult about this? 

这没啥难的吧?

 

问:

It's not after you've explained it. 

你这么一说,我顿时觉得不难了!

 

巴夏:

Then the next time you feel that you are in a difficult situation, explain it to yourself. 

下次你发现你在关系中又出现困难时,就这么开导自己。

 

Then you will know that you also have the ability to transform "difficulty" into something you prefer it to be. Understand? 

然后,你就会知道 你有能力将困难转化为某些你所喜欢的东西,你能够化腐朽为神奇,化干戈为玉帛,化不可能为可能,谈笑间强弩灰飞烟灭,大方无欲,大道无形,行者无彊,较长河为酥酪,变大地为黄金 ……

 

你就是这牛,你知道吗?

 

I do not wish in any way, shape or form to make light of the situation. I am not making light of your feelings or all the experiences that you go through but it really is this simple. Honest. It really is. 

我不是说你要无视你们的状况,无视你们的感受,无视你们共同有过的经历。但实话实说,解决方法就是这么简单。

 

The idea is that loving them truly is really being willing to let them be who they really want to be, who they are choosing to be and at the same time choosing what you prefer. 

要知道,真正的爱的方式,是允许对方 他们想 的,允许他们选择他们所选择的,同时,选择你自己所喜欢的。

 

That's true love. 

这才是真爱!

 

Sometimes the kindest and most loving thing you can do for another individual is let them find who they would really rather be with. 

有时候,你能为对方做的最有爱、最体贴、最友善、最宽容、最 …… 的事,就是让对方找到 Ta 真正想要一起生活的人。

 

问:

True. 

说得对!

 

巴夏:

Does that help you? 

这对你有帮助吗?

 

问:

Yes, it does. I love what you said about guilt. What was it? Being the opposite of...? 

是的!

问:是的。你对 愧疚 的解答我很喜欢。你怎么说来着?是什么的反面?

 

巴夏:

Love. 

爱!

 

问:

Of love. Great. Thanks. 

对,是爱的反面!太棒了!谢谢!

 

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