问：
A person who is very important to me is going through trouble—suffering, disease and divorce.
一个对我来说非常重要的人，现在身处多种麻烦之中：痛苦、疾病、离婚……
I prayed for this person but the suffering still continues.
我为他祈祷，但他仍然痛苦不断。
Are there other ways I can help?
我还能帮他做什么事情吗？
巴夏：
I can give you some suggestions.
我可以给你一些建议。
First of all, do not see them as being weak. Do not send them your pity, for you are only reinforcing the negativity.
首先，不要视他们为弱者，不要可怜他们。如果你这么做的话，只会让他们雪上加霜（强化他们的负面状态）
Secondly, understand that every individual is choosing their own reality.
第二，要知道每个人都在选择自己的实相。
Now, you can suggest things to them that can allow them to change, but you cannot force them to change.
你可以给一些建议，帮助他们改变，但你不能强迫他们改变。
You could share with them many of the principles we have discussed this day of your time, but their belief system may not be able to absorb it.
你可以跟他们分享我们今天探讨的这些理念/法则，但他们的信念系统可能使他们难以理解。
What you must first learn is that you cannot take responsibility for them.
但你首先也要认识到，你是无法承担他们的责任的。
The best way to help them is to be completely responsible to them in the following way.
你能帮助他们的最好的方式，就是通過以下的方式对他们负责任
First of all, acting like you believe in their ability to change in a positive direction and do not see them as trapped.
首先，你不要视他们为陷在困境之中，你要表现得像是你相信他们有能力朝积极的方向做出改变。
Secondly, redefine what they are going through.
其次，你要对他们当前的经历重新定义。
Recognize that they may be suffering, they may be in misery, but also recognize that obviously they felt they had the strength to go through it.
你要认识到：他们可能祸不单行，他们可能痛苦不堪，但很显然他们肯定也觉得自己有能力渡过“难关”。
So see them first for the strength they must contain in order to have attracted such great limitation in their lives.
你先要看到他们内在的力量，有了强大的力量，才能够在自己生命中吸引来强大的限制。
Act in an uplifting way around them, be a shining example of the kind of energy you would prefer.
并且你要以身作则，做一个鼓舞人心的闪耀的榜样，散发出“理想的你”的能量。
Empathy is uplifting, but sympathy is reinforcing the negative.
感同身受，可以振奋人心；但同情，却只会让人更加灰心丧气、失魂落魄、一蹶不振。
（注：无缘大慈，同体大悲）
So in other words, if you are hovering around that individual while they are being miserable, going, [greatly exaggerated]
换句话说，当一个人痛苦的时候，如果你在身旁说：
"Oh, yes... you are a very miserable person. Yes, you are!'
“是啊，你真是太可怜了！”
then you are only fulfilling the saying that you have upon your planet, that "misery loves company." Then you are both being miserable together.
那你就应验了你们星球上的一句话“Misery Loves Company同病相怜”，然后你们就抱在一起痛哭吧！
Sometimes when individuals in your society are being miserable and you choose to be happy, they may think you're being "cold and unfeeling."
在你们的社会中，当一个人很痛苦时，你却选择快乐，那他们可能会认为你“冷漠无情”
Don't be afraid of that.
不要怕这个！
you can tell them that you love them dearly.
你可以告诉他们，你非常爱他们。
In fact, you love them so much that you refuse to reinforce their misery.
实际上，你是如此地爱他们，以至于你拒绝“火上浇油、推波助澜”
Suggest to them changes of environment, changes of attitude, that will change the entire effect.
建议他们改变环境，改变自身的态度，这将完全改变他们的结果。
Get them excited about something.
让他们对某些事物感到兴奋。
Get them excited about themselves in a new direction.
让他们在一个全新的方向，找到自己的兴奋。
But if they don't take your suggestions, that's their choice.
但如果他们不采纳你的建议，那是他们的选择。
You can say, "Well, alright, if you still want to be miserable, we'll still be around, ready and willing to play with you when you' re ready to change."
你可以说：“好滴！既然你还想当可怜虫，那我们就在旁边等。哪天你愿意改变了，我们再一起玩！”
You can remind them that if they want their reality to change the easiest way to do that is to change themselves.
你可以提醒他们，如果想改变现状，那最简单的方式就是改变自己。
So be a light, a radiant example of the kind of joy they can feel too by seeing it reflected from you.
所以，成为光，做一个发光的榜样，让他们可以在你身上看见光，可以感受到你的喜悦。
Otherwise, all you're doing is playing "mortician" observing over the death of the individual... "How sad!"
否则，你就像是一个“入殓师”，看着他们的尸体说“好悲催啊！”
Understand?
明白吗？
Does that help you?
这对你有帮助吗？
问：
Thank you. Starting tomorrow I'll be a shining example.
谢谢你！从明天开始，我就做一个发光的榜样！
巴夏：
Oh, alright. Thank you. But what's wrong with right now?
好吧！也谢谢你！但为什么不现在就开始呢？
问：
Yes...from this instant!
是的！从此刻开始！
巴夏：
Oh, thank you very much.
哈！非常感谢！
笑笑^_^学进 巴夏Bashar 
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